Story Ending

May 19
MinnU left for Mysore for three days training. It’s just an excuse but I don’t feel bad. It doesn’t make a difference anymore whether he is here or not. I enjoy being left alone these days. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome [a very common condition among young Indian women leading to reduced fertility] problem attacked me again. Need good treatment now.

May 21
I went for all kinds of tests and everything is normal. I still have hope. MinnU was expected this morning but he came only in the evening. I wrote my report and I will go alone for check-ups. I don’t want any help from MinnU. I can look after myself. Thanks MinnU, you have made me emotionless by your attitude and behaviour. I still feel pain when MinnU’s friends’ wives tell me about their after marriage experiences. They are all happy.

May 22
I woke up at 4 am and I couldn’t sleep any more. I have nightmares. If my papa was here, he wouldn’t have left me sleep alone. He would have taken me to his room. But there is no one. MinnU’s parents are coming here on 25th and I’m scared.

May 25
They arrived today. I prepared good food. MinnU is not in a good mood and I don’t know why. Now that Mammiji is here, I hope everything will be settled. I hope my MinnU will again be mine.

May 28
I was very upset yesterday, so I didn’t speak to you, diary. I cried a lot yesterday. MinnU told me that he did not have anything to give to his honey, Ramya not even his name. But Ramya has everything to give him. I am reaching the height of depression. The girl who never cried in her life, now cries every minute and every step. I spoke to an astrologer and he said everything will be sorted out in June. Today, he stopped eating with me. Tomorrow is Ramya’s birthday, but he is tense because he can’t celebrate with her as I’m around. What should I do for this? I will end my life. Sorry, I have to go away from you also diary. But God doesn’t want to see me happy.

June 2
Diary, I am very tired now. I am tired of this bloody life. Bad luck precedes me. I thought I would get that job today and all my problems will go away. But it didn’t happen. Mammiji and Papaji say they will be with me and I am like a daughter to them, but kabtak? At any time, they can also get fed up with me. I can’t go to my parents. I have nothing left, nothing to look forward to. Mummy, your daughter is going away with all respect and dignity. I have in my mind all the culture you taught me and even now your daughter is very pure. I haven’t even thought about another man than MinnU. I don’t know what mistake I committed. MinnU, I am not that bad a girl. I am going away from you and your life, to that place from where one cannot come back even if one wanted to. Now you are a free bird.

But one request: Don’t give any sorrow to your mother. She loves you a lot. Be happy and please marry again. This time marry the girl whom you love because every girl will not be Sweety. Shekar bro, my blessing will be with you always. Now, you don’t have to protect your sister anymore and I will not be a burden to you. Please look after papa and mummy.
Nupurji and Jijaji you tried a lot to make my home happier, now it’s not required. Papa and mummy don’t blame MinnU’s parents. I am responsible for my death. I am fed up with life, so I want to die. No one is responsible for my death except God. I will ask him why he took everything away from me. I love you all. I love you MinnU, you will be ever my MINNUUU… always.

Rahe na rah ham, mahaka karenge ban ke kale, ban ke sabaa, bhagoo wafah mein……

Aap sab ki


Asti Shekhar (Sweety)