April 12
How are you my dear diary? Apologies for not contacting you for such a long time. A number of incidents have happened in my life in the last few days. You are my best friend who is always there to listen to me when I’m sad and lonely. So I feel relaxed whenever I talk to you. I thank you for your support. Now I’m fighting with own emotions. I’m all alone now and I feel I need somebody with whom I can share my feelings. MinnU, my Smartu, whom I loved, married and shared my life, all of it has gone waste. I know now that all the dreams I had of staying with him for the rest of my life are shattered. They were broken by God. I am unable to make him happy and it is a shameful thing for any wife. Sometimes I think I should end my life, but this is not a solution to my problems. I don’t know what to do and how to gain a place my husband’s heart. Whenever I see some other happy couple, I feel low. I think how lucky they are and how unlucky I am. This pain is unbearable. I told my parents and brother about MinnU’s affair with Ramya. They were shocked to hear this. They could not believe it. But they have to face this reality and they should know that their daughter has a short life left. MinnUis going to end our relationship in June and he is very serious about it. He plans to settle in Dubai for the rest of his life and for him June is the end of our relationship. He is going to marry Ramya, his love. I never thought that this would be the end of my life.
All the smiles and happiness have disappeared and there is only pressure, tension and sorrow left. My Papa knows that his beloved daughter is in deep pain. He blames himself for this mess. There’s no charm for Smartu in this marriage and he just wants to be free from jail.
This marriage is a punishment for him. No one — not my Papa, mother, MinnU nor his parents – none of them realise that they are punishing only me. Do you know dairy, Mummiji wanted MinnU to marry me because they wanted a cook – Sweety, the cook. Did he not understand my love for him? Did he not see it in my eyes? He only wants my body. Does he not understand my feelings towards him? Will I ever get him to love me? If he doesn’t value our relationship will he leave me forever in June? All these questions go around in my head and I cannot even sleep. Papa had spent Rs 18,00,000 (18 lakh) on my marriage, and is this the end of it? All of them are thinking only about themselves. MinnU’s parents say they did not get a good dowry, TV, A/C, dining set, fridge etc and so they are not happy. MinnUdidn’t get his love, so he is not happy. Papa had spent lakhs and not even he is happy now. But what about me and what should I do now?
MinnU now thinks he is already married to Ramya. He married me only because he wanted to keep his parents happy. MinnU loses nothing from this marriage. I’m the only one who is losing my life. My relationship, all my expectations, emotions, and feelings, have gone and there is nobody to give them back to me. I hate this world. MinnUdoes not even speak to me now. He just answers ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to my questions. Even physically I’m useless to him.
I can’t take all this pain. I can end my life, but I want to see what chances life gives me. I feel good sharing all these things with you dairy. Thanks for listening to me patiently. Every moment I think about doing the things MinnU likes. Why does he not feel anything towards me? Why? Why? I think I am a burden to everyone. No one sees the sorrow I’m feeling. What should I do? Where should I go once MinnU leaves me in June forever?
April 13
There is no charm in life as usual today. I have never lived my life like this. Asti was a name which meant fun, excitement, and happiness. I had the capacity to bring a smile to everyone’s face. Look what has happened to me now. There is no happiness left in life. I want to run away from this unsuccessful life. I feel guilty about my parents and brother. They had expected many more from this marriage. They thought they fulfilled their responsibility. They fixed this marriage with this guy who was my SMARTU, but there is no charm left in this relationship. O God, please save me. Give me strength. Give me a solutions or kill me . Please God save me… Save me… Save me.
How are you my dear diary? Apologies for not contacting you for such a long time. A number of incidents have happened in my life in the last few days. You are my best friend who is always there to listen to me when I’m sad and lonely. So I feel relaxed whenever I talk to you. I thank you for your support. Now I’m fighting with own emotions. I’m all alone now and I feel I need somebody with whom I can share my feelings. MinnU, my Smartu, whom I loved, married and shared my life, all of it has gone waste. I know now that all the dreams I had of staying with him for the rest of my life are shattered. They were broken by God. I am unable to make him happy and it is a shameful thing for any wife. Sometimes I think I should end my life, but this is not a solution to my problems. I don’t know what to do and how to gain a place my husband’s heart. Whenever I see some other happy couple, I feel low. I think how lucky they are and how unlucky I am. This pain is unbearable. I told my parents and brother about MinnU’s affair with Ramya. They were shocked to hear this. They could not believe it. But they have to face this reality and they should know that their daughter has a short life left. MinnUis going to end our relationship in June and he is very serious about it. He plans to settle in Dubai for the rest of his life and for him June is the end of our relationship. He is going to marry Ramya, his love. I never thought that this would be the end of my life.
All the smiles and happiness have disappeared and there is only pressure, tension and sorrow left. My Papa knows that his beloved daughter is in deep pain. He blames himself for this mess. There’s no charm for Smartu in this marriage and he just wants to be free from jail.
This marriage is a punishment for him. No one — not my Papa, mother, MinnU nor his parents – none of them realise that they are punishing only me. Do you know dairy, Mummiji wanted MinnU to marry me because they wanted a cook – Sweety, the cook. Did he not understand my love for him? Did he not see it in my eyes? He only wants my body. Does he not understand my feelings towards him? Will I ever get him to love me? If he doesn’t value our relationship will he leave me forever in June? All these questions go around in my head and I cannot even sleep. Papa had spent Rs 18,00,000 (18 lakh) on my marriage, and is this the end of it? All of them are thinking only about themselves. MinnU’s parents say they did not get a good dowry, TV, A/C, dining set, fridge etc and so they are not happy. MinnUdidn’t get his love, so he is not happy. Papa had spent lakhs and not even he is happy now. But what about me and what should I do now?
MinnU now thinks he is already married to Ramya. He married me only because he wanted to keep his parents happy. MinnU loses nothing from this marriage. I’m the only one who is losing my life. My relationship, all my expectations, emotions, and feelings, have gone and there is nobody to give them back to me. I hate this world. MinnUdoes not even speak to me now. He just answers ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to my questions. Even physically I’m useless to him.
I can’t take all this pain. I can end my life, but I want to see what chances life gives me. I feel good sharing all these things with you dairy. Thanks for listening to me patiently. Every moment I think about doing the things MinnU likes. Why does he not feel anything towards me? Why? Why? I think I am a burden to everyone. No one sees the sorrow I’m feeling. What should I do? Where should I go once MinnU leaves me in June forever?
April 13
There is no charm in life as usual today. I have never lived my life like this. Asti was a name which meant fun, excitement, and happiness. I had the capacity to bring a smile to everyone’s face. Look what has happened to me now. There is no happiness left in life. I want to run away from this unsuccessful life. I feel guilty about my parents and brother. They had expected many more from this marriage. They thought they fulfilled their responsibility. They fixed this marriage with this guy who was my SMARTU, but there is no charm left in this relationship. O God, please save me. Give me strength. Give me a solutions or kill me . Please God save me… Save me… Save me.
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