April 22
Life is moving at normal speed. Nothing has changed. I never expected life after marriage will become like this. I was a fool who only thought about romance and good things about married life. Things have changed and I only see a big dark hole in front my eyes. Mummiji asked me if I am happy? I said ‘yes’. She told me that I will be happy as I have got all the material things in life. She told me her son was not happy. My unhappiness and sorrow means nothing to her. She doesn’t want to really know whether I’m happy or not. MiNNuji is not bothered about what I feel and he does not even think about me. I don’t want to trouble my parents, so I haven’t told them everything. With whom can I share my feelings? You are the only friend I can share my feelings with. I’m crying now. Yesterday also I cried a lot.
April 24
I’m as usual not happy with life. Today, I did a pregnancy test and it came back negative. There is nothing good that is happening to me. I’m not sure whether to feel sad or not with the result of the test. MinnU looks happy as he has no responsibility to fulfil. He is very happy in his own world with Ramya.
The so-called deadline to end the relationship is June 17. I don’t know how to tell my parents and it’s a waste of time to tell Mummiji. She will not understand my problems and feelings. Now you help me God. I have managed to stop my tears. I’m begging you please show me a way to clear my problems. Every day I cry in front of you God. Please show me the way.
April 26
Diary, today everything went out my hands. Today, I feel I am the poorest and unluckiest girl in this world. I lost my husband completely today. I hoped it would not happen, but it has happened. Today he slept alone in another room and left me alone. Why did this have to happen to me? Is it my mistake to have consented to a marriage which papa fixed? Yes, I think this is the mistake and I’m being punished. I feel I should end my life. The one I married never loved me and today even our beds have been separated. There is nothing left between us. I don’t know how much I will cry today. I will not able to sleep. I’m not even doing anything to end these problems. I will try and do something. At least I know that if I fail, I can at least end my life. Ilove MinnU a lot. I don’t know when he will understand my love for him.
Life is moving at normal speed. Nothing has changed. I never expected life after marriage will become like this. I was a fool who only thought about romance and good things about married life. Things have changed and I only see a big dark hole in front my eyes. Mummiji asked me if I am happy? I said ‘yes’. She told me that I will be happy as I have got all the material things in life. She told me her son was not happy. My unhappiness and sorrow means nothing to her. She doesn’t want to really know whether I’m happy or not. MiNNuji is not bothered about what I feel and he does not even think about me. I don’t want to trouble my parents, so I haven’t told them everything. With whom can I share my feelings? You are the only friend I can share my feelings with. I’m crying now. Yesterday also I cried a lot.
April 24
I’m as usual not happy with life. Today, I did a pregnancy test and it came back negative. There is nothing good that is happening to me. I’m not sure whether to feel sad or not with the result of the test. MinnU looks happy as he has no responsibility to fulfil. He is very happy in his own world with Ramya.
The so-called deadline to end the relationship is June 17. I don’t know how to tell my parents and it’s a waste of time to tell Mummiji. She will not understand my problems and feelings. Now you help me God. I have managed to stop my tears. I’m begging you please show me a way to clear my problems. Every day I cry in front of you God. Please show me the way.
April 26
Diary, today everything went out my hands. Today, I feel I am the poorest and unluckiest girl in this world. I lost my husband completely today. I hoped it would not happen, but it has happened. Today he slept alone in another room and left me alone. Why did this have to happen to me? Is it my mistake to have consented to a marriage which papa fixed? Yes, I think this is the mistake and I’m being punished. I feel I should end my life. The one I married never loved me and today even our beds have been separated. There is nothing left between us. I don’t know how much I will cry today. I will not able to sleep. I’m not even doing anything to end these problems. I will try and do something. At least I know that if I fail, I can at least end my life. Ilove MinnU a lot. I don’t know when he will understand my love for him.
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